Monday, July 23, 2012
Little Yellow Butterfly
UNTIL we lost our youngest son. Then the loss truly became MY LOSS too. And when the loss of a loved one becomes your loss, you learn to really look at life in a different way.
I'm going to be honest and tell you right now that I wasn't one, even in my childhood, to collect butterflies or really enjoy them to the fullest. Yes, living in the country, we always had countless butterflies fluttering around but I don't think I really paid attention to them as I know some people do. I do remember telling my children, when they saw a butterfly, that it was their papa visiting from his heavenly home but that was really the extent of my butterfly story .... until now ....
After our youngest son's death, I learned to fully appreciate the "little" things in life. The birds singing, the flowers blooming, the leaves changing colors and on and on I could list all the little blessings in my life. But I'm only going to talk about one of those blessings today - my little yellow butterfly. Last year, after I planted my garden (which didn't really bear a whole lot of harvest), my youngest son and I sat on our swing and talked. We talked about many things, but one of the things, we talked about was the garden. He wanted to help with it and maybe we should make plans for a bigger garden ... I should add more plants - pumpkins, watermelon, sweet corn and so on. Unfortunately the garden planted last summer didn't give us very many harvest blessings .... Mike passed away in October (2011) and honestly, planting a garden (in spring 2012) was the farthest thing from my mind at that time.
Spring rolled around and I decided to move the garden, hoping that maybe I would get at least a tiny bit of harvest ... :0) Of course, I planted the "usual" seeds - tomatoes and green peppers along with some cucumbers (that literally died last year and never came to harvest), zucchini, radishes, a few others. In honor of my youngest son and our talked, I also planted PUMPKINS. No, Mike won't be able to enjoy our harvest of pumpkins, if we have one, but I thought that maybe if the pumpkins did grow, all the grandkids and Maddie would be able to enjoy them and I could tell the story of why they were planted in the first place.
This garden has become "my place" to talk to God, listen to God and think about all the beautiful memories made with my youngest son. I, sometimes, spend a lot of time in my garden - weeding, watering, looking for new harvest, etc.
AND here's where that Little Yellow Butterfly comes into the story ... I have a visitor to my garden - a little yellow butterfly. On most days, my little visitor flutters around my garden, following me. I have decided that it's my gift from God - my little yellow butterfly is Mike's presence, letting me know that he's okay and in God's hands now. On the days when I am missing my youngest son the most and feeling sad, I can almost always be guaranteed to see my Little Yellow Butterfly and NOT just in my garden ...
Why do I saw ALMOST always?? Because sometimes, I think we (including me) forget to look for ALL the BLESSINGS around us - given to us by our Heavenly Father. And it's on those days, that my little yellow butterfly probably visits me ... I just haven't noticed.
Of course, I am posting this story to my blog because I have a few more stories to share about my Little Yellow Butterfly ... but for now, I just wanted to give you the beginning of my story so that when I mention my Little Yellow Butterfly, you'll understand just how much "he" means to me ♥ ♥ ♥
Country FarmHouse Blessings,
~*~ Lori ~*~
♥ Purdy Mama ♥
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